The Way Things Go
by LoMaRiBa
Summary: Warning! Slash very light, but it is a relationship involving 2 males. Xander is the one to send Angel to Hell, not Buffy.
1. My God! You Killed Xander!

Xander stared at Angelus in disbelief. Something about Angelus had just changed. They had been locked in battle when Angelus just stopped fighting. Xander couldn't interpret the look on his face, but it was obvious that Angel was struggling with something painful. Slowly Angel's vamped out face faded into his human looking one.  
  
"Wha." Angel tried to speak, but wasn't quite sure what was happening. The sudden reemergence of his soul stunned and confused the vampire. He knew that he should know why he was standing in a torn apart room facing Xander, who was holding a sword. Angel looked over Xander's shoulder and saw Buffy lying crumpled on the ground, blood trickling down her forehead.  
  
Xander, however, did not choose to answer Angel. In the back of his mind, Xander knew that Willow had promised to perform the soul restoring spell. However, it was too late. A giant swirling ball of light and wind and lightening had appeared behind Angel. Angel had already started swaying with the changing air pressure that surrounded him. Xander heard creaking filling the room. The statue of the demon had started to rock back and forth. Even though the spell had worked, it had worked too late to help Xander.  
  
He knew that he only had one chance to save Angel. As much as he disliked the guy, Xander could not easily send a soul into hell. Even if that soul inhabited a vampire that had been called the Scourge of Europe. Xander quickly thought through his options. He could easily shove the stunned and unresisting master vampire through the portal. Angel was already unstable on his feet and quite close to the portal. It would only take a small shove to send him through. Xander couldn't do this unless it was the absolute last option though.  
  
Clenching his fingers around the hilt of the sword, Xander ran through everything Giles had said about the portal. God, he wished Buffy was the one standing here making the decisions. Early in the fight, however, Buffy had taken a hit to the head, effectively knocking her out and leaving her to Angelus' mercy's. Luckily Xander had been sent with the information that Willow was going to perform the soul spell. Not that he had planned on telling her, but as his English teacher once said, "The best laid plans of mice and men."  
  
Xander's eyes traced the flow of blood sluggishly dripping down Angel's hand. Something clicked in his head and he could almost hear Giles' voice in his head. "Most portals react with blood. Used for both opening and closing, once the portal has gotten a taste, it requires even more for closing. Though a fair amount is usually needed to open one, one may be able to close a portal with a token offering. Blood and flesh of the conjuror of the portal is the most effective means of quickly and easily closing one of these gateways."  
  
The sword almost seemed to move on its own accord. Without realizing what he was doing, Xander raised the weapon and cut off Angel's hand. There was no time for gentleness and if a hand could satisfy the portal that was threatening to send the whole world into hell, he would use a hand. Angel's scream of pain reverberated throughout the small room as he clutched the space where his left hand used to be.  
  
Xander stepped around the handicapped vampire and threw the hand into the gaping maw. Unfortunately Xander's action was too little too late. The hole lost some of its diameter, but in general stayed the same size. The winds picked up. Xander looked over at the gateway again and saw it was shrinking. He gave a quick sigh of relief and turned back to Angel.  
  
Angel was still standing in the same spot as before, clutching his wrist. As Xander looked over, Angel's knees buckled and he started to fall to the floor. The stress of fighting, getting his soul back, and then losing his hand in such a short time took its toll on the vampire. Xander quickly took the two steps to reach his once enemy. Before he could fall completely to the floor, Xander caught the fainting vampire.  
  
Xander held Angel in his arms, noticing that his eyes were wide open, staring directly into Xander's eyes as he lay in his embrace. Neither man noticed that the wind had picked up again. They were too busy trying to figure out where the current they both felt had come from. When Xander was pulled off his feet, they were unprepared. Xander kept hold of the injured man, even when the suction became too powerful to fight. His white knight complex and his general feeling that no soul should have to experience hell, especially alone, gave him the courage to hold on tight.  
  
Somehow managing to keep his eyes locked on Angel's, Xander felt himself being pulled into the portal along with Angel. This time, the portal closed completely. It left behind a quiet room, filled only with large piles of rubble, a bloody sword and a broken Slayer.  
  
No signs remained of the two men who had been locked in combat just a few short minutes ago. When Giles and Willow would come looking for Xander and Buffy, they would find no traces or evidence where their friend had gone.  
  
Xander and Angel would not have the same experiences as their friends back home. When they finally stopped being thrown around, they landed in a pile on the ground. They lay there, stunned, until Xander managed to get his breath back. He scrambled to his feet, managing to only step on Angel twice before he managed to stay upright.  
  
Angel grunted, Xander was no lightweight, and managed to stand without too much trouble. He looked around trying to figure out where they were, still gripping his stump where his hand used to be. It was still slowly dripping blood even though vampire healing was usually quite fast. This much trauma to a body part would take a fair amount of time to heal. He wasn't too worried about the injury though. If he waited long enough, the stump would grow back. For some reason, vampire physiology made sure that mutilations would not occur. Just as a vampire couldn't gain a scar after being bitten, they never could truly lose a part of their body. Hair was the only exception to this rule, but no one knew why.  
  
After searching out the arid landscape for some identifiable feature, Angel turned to Xander. "Where are we? What happened?"  
  
Xander, who had been looking out at the horizon, turned back to him and replied, "We're in Hell. Angelus wanted to send the world into chaos and I couldn't let him, you, do it. I followed Buffy when she went after you. I knew she couldn't kill you, even with the fate of the world at her mercy, but I could. Willow tried to resoul you before killing you became necessary, and it looks like she succeeded, however, not in time for us to prevent the portal from opening. I took your hand hoping that it would be satisfied with the blood and flesh offering. It wasn't. Now we're both stuck here." He turned back to the horizon, hoping to find something, anything that would give him some direction to go.  
  
Angel had no idea what to say to this young man who had shown so much courage in the past few days. He knew that it wouldn't have been easy for Xander to overcome Buffy's wishes when dealing with Angelus. He, personally, would have automatically killed anything that was so much danger to his friends and loved ones. Xander was willing to do the same, no matter what the consequences were. Only a very strong person would have the courage to do so, even if it meant going against the wishes of the person he loved. And he did know that Xander loved Buffy. Buffy was the perfect girl. Hell, he should know. He was drawn to Buffy for many of the same reasons Xander had been. He even understood Xander's hatred for him.  
  
Xander knew what Angel was. Buffy always overlooked Angel's past, but Xander remembered that Angel was once Angelus, the Scourge of Europe. This too, Angel found admirable. Not many would stand up to such evil, even evil with a soul, so openly.  
  
"Thank you." Angel's words carried through the air, quietly but strongly.  
  
"You shouldn't thank me."  
  
"Yes, I should. You saved Buffy. You saved the world. You were the only one that never lost sight of who--what I was and am. You took charge when you knew that Buffy would not be able to finish out her mission and kill me. That was the only thing that prevented chaos from entering Sunnydale. You sacrificed your life to prevent that, and for that I'm truly grateful that you managed to save Buffy from finding out what sending her lover to Hell would feel like."  
  
Xander turned back to Angel and just looked at him. Angel felt like the boy was judging him and his soul. Xander nodded, having found what he was looking for. "Let's go. We can't stay here. The mountains probably have some source of water. Here doesn't have anything but sand. I'd rather avoid anyone that's out here as well, but somehow I think we won't be able to avoid that for long. Hell is called Hell for a reason."  
  
Xander started walking, not checking to see if Angel followed. This he did with no hesitation. He owed Xander more than he could ever repay. Angel would stay with the boy until he told him to go, and then he would only leave reluctantly. Angel knew that this world would be extremely harsh and the only way either of them would survive was to help the other. And even without that, Angel knew that after all the trouble he had caused; he needed to make amends for the damage he had caused.  
  
The two walked until the reached the first gentle slopes of the mountain. They managed to find water from a stream and washed the dust of their journey off. Angel used his vampire strong hearing and found several animals that they could track and use for food. They would at least be able to find the basic needs the two men had and live. Whether or not they survived this strange land was still to be seen. 


	2. There's A Light In the Manor

Two months later:  
  
Rupert Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them with one of his linen handkerchiefs. He was leaning against the check-out counter of the library looking at the remains of the Scooby gang. Two months ago, he would have been the first to say that Xander Harris was not a vital member of the team. The boy had no special skills, no talents. Yet the boy's disappearance with Angelus had proven just how wrong he had been.  
  
His Slayer was functioning but not with anywhere near as much effort as she used to be. She was sluggish and imprecise. Without a radical change in the very near future, he was looking at losing his Slayer to one of the random Hellmouth occurrences just because she didn't have the heart to fight anymore.  
  
The Slayer blamed herself for her inability to deal with Angel. Xander, a mere mortal, had to do her job when she failed. Xander had succeeded where she failed and if weak Xander managed to take down Angelus when she couldn't, how could she protect Sunnydale from the demons she faced on a daily basis? The guilt was causing her to lose confidence in her slaying abilities and it showed.  
  
Giles turned his speculations on the other female member of the Scoobies.  
  
Willow.well, Willow was worse. Xander had been her best friend. With Jesse gone, Xander had been the only one to really know her. They had been friends for as long as she could remember. She was convinced that if only she had been able to spell cast quicker, Xander would not have had to sacrifice himself dealing with Angelus. She had felt her spell take hold and knew that Angelus had turned back to Angel, just not in time for it to make a difference for Xander's sake.  
  
She had spent weeks studying magic books, hers and Giles', to find what she could have done differently. She was convinced that Xander was still alive and that she would be the one to find him. However, as time went by, she was slowly losing that hope and it was slowly killing her spirit. If they didn't find proof soon, one way or the other, Giles was afraid that they would lose her. Whether to the chaos magic that had almost claimed him and had claimed Ethan, or to her own hand, he wasn't certain. He didn't even know which idea scared him more.  
  
The silence in the library was shattered when Oz burst through the door. Oz had, surprisingly, been a great help in keeping the three sane. While he had cared for Xander, Oz just didn't have the emotional tie to the boy as the rest of them. He had seen Xander's sacrifice for what it was and admired him, but was able to move on. This gave him the ability to deal with his devastated girlfriend and the ability to make Giles' face the inevitable.  
  
Giles' head snapped up at the intrusion and barked, "What is the matter?" in his very annoyed, proper English accent.  
  
Oz just stood there, panting, for several seconds. He finally blurted out, in a very non Oz manner, "The mansion. Lights. Xander. Angelus. Go!"  
  
At "Xander" everybody focused intently on the young man. "Xander?" Willow's voice rang out through the library. "You saw Xander!?"  
  
Oz had managed to regain his voice by this time. "I was doing my usual patrol past the Mansion. I was almost past when I thought I heard something come from the house. As I got closer I could see lights flashing. They looked like nothing I've seen before. I got close enough to look in the window and." his voice tapered off.  
  
"What!" The exclamation came from two different corners. Buffy got up and started rummaging in the weapon's room, grabbing a sword, an axe and making sure she had several stakes and other vampire killing devices on her. Willow got up from the table she had been sitting at and stalked over to her boyfriend. "What did you see?" she demanded.  
  
"Xander. Angelus. I think." he trailed off, his face unreadable.  
  
"What do you mean, you think? You know what they both look like."  
  
Oz continued, seemingly not hearing the girl speak. "The lights were swirling in the middle of the room. They went faster and faster until something fell. The lights had gotten so bright that you couldn't see anything in the room anymore. I turned away; it hurt to look in. When it faded enough to see, I turned back and on the floor, in a heap were two bodies. Men. I didn't see both their faces, just the one that was turned towards me, but I know I recognized the other. But Xander.he's.changed. Older, harsher." Oz paused and took a deep breath. He didn't know what had gotten into him. He never talked this much, but what he had saw scared him. Never had he seen someone change so much in so little time. Xander's face was scarred and spoke of things no one should ever see.  
  
Buffy chose this moment to break in. "Okay, I'm going over there, I'll tell you what I see when I get there. I'll take care of the problem." She got up and started walking towards the double doors.  
  
"No!" Giles' and Willow's voices blended together. Giles' spoke first. "You will not go there without us. It could be dangerous and you have no idea what you're facing." Taking his life into his own hands, he continued. "You couldn't fight off a fledgling, much less a master vampire like Angelus. And you've certainly shown that you can't handle him. If Xander is as bad as Oz described, I have doubts you could handle him as well. We will be going with you."  
  
Willow just nodded. Giles had put to words what she wanted to say. Even if Buffy thought she could go there without her, she'd follow anyway.  
  
Buffy just stared at her Watcher. He had never talked to her that way before. Still stunned, she watched as her friends and mentor loaded up on patrolling gear and then walked over to the doors were she was still standing.  
  
"Alright, Buffy, let's go." Giles led the way out the door and to his car. It would be crowded, but they could all fit and it'd cut a significant amount of time off of traveling. The teenagers piled in and waited for him to start the car. The trip didn't take very long at all and was made in silence.  
  
Once there, they all piled out and stood staring at the Mansion that had housed Angelus. They all had bad memories associated with the building and it would take a great deal of effort to overcome. None of the group dared to look at each other. After a few minutes, Willow started up the walk to the front door. Looking over her shoulder, she asked, "Well? Are you coming or not?"  
  
Giles, Buffy and Oz quickly caught up with the young witch and they were soon at the door. It was slightly ajar, and Buffy took the lead and pushed it in the rest of the way. "Which way, Oz?"  
  
Oz just pointed and they all walked in that direction. When they reached the door to the room, Buffy once again took the lead. She opened the door slowly and gasped. On the floor in a tangled heap were her ex-boyfriend and Xander. They were still out from whatever had brought them back. Fully clothed in dark leather, both men seemed to be the embodiment of pain and suffering. Xander had grown several inches and his hair was longer than he normally wore.  
  
Giles recognized several pieces of weaponry the boy-no, man as he certainly wasn't a boy anymore--wore in easily accessible spots and thought he saw blood stains on his shirt. Angel was laying next and on him, wearing a similar outfit. He too, was outfitted in various pieces of armament and it looked as if they had been recently used. What shocked everybody the most were the collars that adorned both men's necks. Made out of leather and steel, they seemed to have been grown into place.  
  
In the time it took for the four to take in the site that lay before them, Xander started to stir. He moaned in pain and started to untangle himself from Angel. When he freed his hands, he brought them up and cradled his head. After a few minutes, he looked up and made eye contact with Giles. His eyes widened and an "Oh shit" escaped before he began to wildly look around. He got to his hands and knees and started shaking the vampire lying next to him.  
  
"Angel, get your ass up now!"  
  
The Scoobies watched, eyes wide and mouths open, as the man they knew as Xander tried to wake his most hated enemy. What the hell had happened since they last saw their friend? 


	3. Willow Isn't All Sweetness And Light

Waking up to whispered voices, Xander fought his instincts and remained still. He knew he was not in the same place he was when he fell asleep last night. He was still holding onto Angel and still fully clothed, but the ground he was laying on felt different. It felt like he was lying on finished wood. He knew that he was indoors, the lack of wind and animal sounds clued him in on that. He could tell that he and Angel were not alone in the room.  
  
All this only took the warrior a few seconds to figure out. He decided it was worth the risk to move and scope out the situation. The people that he could detect were not moving and he had no clue if they were prisoners or if they were the jailers in this situation. Xander raised his head and made eye contact with a familiar looking man. Where did he recognize him from? It only took a few seconds for Xander's photographic memory to come into play. Xander's shocked, "Oh shit," rang in the room and he looked at the others that stood with his old librarian. He recognized Buffy, who was in front of course. He also saw Willow, his childhood friend. It took him a few more seconds to remember Oz's name but it came to him quickly.  
  
It took him just a fraction of a second to realize that if he was seeing the Scooby Gang, then he either was back in Sunnydale or they had been brought to him. He looked rapidly around the room and decided that he and Angel were back at the Hellmouth. He turned to his partner and finally noticed that Angel was not awake yet. This did not worry him, as it was technically night time where the two had been. He got to his hands and knees and starting shaking the vamp. "Angel, get your ass up now!"  
  
Angel stirred and cracked his eyes open, taking stock of the situation. Like Xander, he quickly realized he was not where he was last at. He sat up and reached for his weapons at the same time when the felt the presence of the others. Taking his cue from Xander, he didn't react violently, but slowly turned to face the doorway. In the process, he realized where they were. Somehow they had been transferred back to his mansion in Sunnydale. How or why escaped him, but the relief at not having to survive another day in Hell filled him.  
  
"Shit." Angel recognition of the four people standing in the doorway was instantaneous. The looks he was getting were filled with horror and shock. He didn't blame them as he remembered the last time he had seen them. He had tried to destroy them all and he couldn't blame them for being terrified of Angelus. He turned to Xander, "Do you want to explain or should I? They'd probably believe you more than they'd believe me."  
  
Xander nodded, that would most likely be true. First though, they had to establish to the Scooby Gang that he really was their friend Xander and that he wasn't someone else entirely or from a different dimension. Hell, he had to figure out if this was where he and Angel were really from as well.  
  
"Okay. Giles, Willow, Buffy, Oz. I'm not sure how we got here, but I am Alexander LaVelle Harris, Xander and he," Xander pointed at Angel, "is Angel, otherwise known as Angelus. I'm pretty sure we're from this dimension.I don't know why we'd be sent to a different one, but we haven't been here for a while, yes?" Xander waited for an answer.  
  
Finally Giles got himself together enough to answer, "Yes, you've been missing since May. It's not August. Buffy was fighting Angelus and was knocked out. You jumped in and when we all got to the Mansion, you and Angelus had disappeared."  
  
Xander nodded. It was most likely that they were in the right place. "Actually Angel. Willow's spell worked." Xander heard a gasp from Willow. "I knew Buffy wouldn't be able to kill Angelus, so when she was knocked out, I jumped in. I noticed that Willow's spell had worked, but it was too late, the portal had been opened. It sucked the both of us in and we've been in Hell. Time flows differently there. I have no doubt that it's been three months here, but it's been much longer for us."  
  
Xander's expression was hard and unmoving. Giles knew more than the others what the boy, no man, must have gone through to survive. Hell, no matter which part of it, was no place for a non-demon to be. And Angel with a soul! He would have had a hard time as well. Punishments for demons were excruciating. It seemed though, that the two had managed to stick together. Hopefully they had managed to keep the other from too much pain and suffering. Giles wondered what Xander wasn't telling them. Years could have passed since they had last seen him.  
  
Giles decided to ask. The longer it had been for the boy, the less likely it would be that Willow would get her friend back. It would be hard for the girl and Buffy to accept a new Xander. They were used to being the alphas in their group and would not take kindly to a Xander that could stand up for himself. "Xander, how long were you there?"  
  
Xander looked up sharply at the Watcher. "I don't know. Years. I lost count after 100. After that, it didn't seem worth it any more. Angel? Do you keep track?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "No, I lost count as well, but it was at least five centuries."  
  
Everyone looked stunned. Giles couldn't believe it. How HAD Xander survived that long? Obviously his life span had been manipulated to last that long, but living in Hell? Giles knew that he wouldn't have been able to be that successful and still remain sane. His respect for the man in front of him grew.  
  
After a few minutes of silence, no one knew quite what to say, Giles spoke up. "Yes, well, Xander, I do believe that you haven't been listed as missing or dead yet. You should be able to pick up your life quite easily. You look a lot older though. I can help you get your diploma if you don't want to go back to high school. But we still have a couple weeks before school starts to take care of it. I'd love to hear about your experiences. We don't have a lot of information about the Hell dimensions, just that they are incredibly dangerous. Do you have a place to stay tonight?"  
  
Without looking up from the floor, Xander spoke, "Yeah, Angel and I will stay here today. We'll go pick up my stuff tomorrow night. Angel's apartment should still be livable. And yeah, I'll probably take you up on your offer. I don't think I could go back to normal. I've seen too much and done even more." Xander got a sad look on his face as he remembered how exactly he became proficient at surviving. He had had to learn how to protect himself and Angel. He hadn't killed humans, but only because he was the only one. He knew that he rivaled the Vampire Slayer in strength and ability and he probably was more informed than she about the different demons. He had picked up several demon languages throughout the years and knew which ones were dangerous and which ones weren't and how to kill them all.  
  
Xander had even picked up on how to use magic. He didn't have a natural skill with it, but had learned enough to be able to know when it was being used and by whom. He could perform simple spells but knew the mechanics of the bigger ones. He knew that he and Angel hadn't been sent back to Sunnydale randomly. There was going to be some big bad that they were needed for. TPTB had brought them back here for a reason. Now all Xander and Angel had to do was figure out what that reason was. He sighed. He was tired of being used and knew that it would be a long time before he was comfortable in his home dimension again.  
  
He realized that he had been silent for a while and that no one else had said anything. "What?" Xander looked up to see everyone staring at him. Angel had moved closer and had placed his hand on his lower back for support.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "I think we should leave Angel and Xander alone so they can get some sleep. We'll figure out how they got back here later. Can you meet us at my place after sunset tomorrow?" This question was directed to Xander and Angel.  
  
"Yeah, but make it after 9. I really want to get some things taken care of first and it'll take awhile."  
  
"Fine. Willow, can you call Cordelia? She should be back by now and will want to see Xander. Buffy, would you patrol before coming over? That way we won't be interrupted." He started making his way out of the room. "I'll see everyone then." He left, after grabbing a reluctant Buffy's arm and dragging her with him. Willow and Oz remained for a few minutes longer.  
  
Willow looked at Xander and didn't recognize who he was. Gone was the little boy she grew up with, gone was the happy-go-lucky teenager she had been friends with up until a few months ago. She nodded to herself. She would find a way to turn him back into the boy he was, even if he didn't want it. No one would change her friend, not even himself. She started to turn after saying goodnight to her Xander but was interrupted by Xander's low voice.  
  
"Willow."  
  
She turned back around and was greeted by Xander standing inches away. He had moved to quickly and silently that she hadn't heard him move. "Yes?"  
  
"You will NOT use magic to try and fix this. What happened happened and cannot be changed. Do you understand?" Xander had enough ability to feel the magic surrounding his one-time friend. He recognized the look on the girl's face and knew that she was planning on manipulating the energies she had access to, to try and fix this problem. If she hadn't changed him, no one could. But he knew that while he hadn't wanted to go through Hell, he had for some reason and Willow would only bring destruction upon them all if he let her continue. He remembered the magics he had had to have stripped from himself in the other realm and knew that someone had to control the girl before she went too far. And it looked like tonight, it would be him.  
  
Willow was shocked. How could Xander had known what she was going to do? She had forgotten that while she knew him better than anyone else, the same could be said for Xander. He knew her and knew what she was capable of. "What? I wasn't going to do anything!"  
  
"Yes, you were. But you will not. I am not the zeppo. I never was but you and Buffy placed me there. I let you because it was easier than admitting that I was just as strong and intelligent as you were. I know you. You will not do what you were planning. I can and will make sure you won't, but I'd not like to go that far. Do I have to, Willow?"  
  
"No," she whispered. "I won't change anything." She was shocked. She had felt the strength coming off of her best friend. He was stronger than she was and could do as he threatened. How had he figured out she had limited him when she first started playing around with magic? That was the only explanation for his new abilities she had felt. She would have to be careful around him. Willow turned back around, resolved not to upset this stranger with Xander's face. She would let him be and search for her real friend. Real Xander would never treat her this way. "Come on, Oz, let's go." Without looking back, Willow walked away from the person she cared most for.  
  
Oz followed, briefly stopping to say a quick, "Night."  
  
Xander just stood there. "Willow, Oz. See you tomorrow."  
  
After the two had disappeared from sight, Angel approached Xander. He knew that to the outsider, Xander appeared calm and collected. However, he knew that Xander was hurting. It had cost him a lot to say what he had to Willow. Willow was one of Xander's few bright memories of before. Before they had been transported to the other place. Before he had had to give up his innocence. Angel wrapped his arms around his love, and whispered, "Are you okay?"  
  
Xander shook in silent laughter that quickly turned to tearless sobs. He had stopped crying many years ago. Emotions would only get you killed in Hell. He seemed to collapse in Angel's arms. "No. She's changed so much from what I remember. I know it's been forever for us, but it's only been three months here! Did I just not notice? She's convinced I'm not her Xander. I'll have to keep an eye out on her. She's not going to stop and one day, she'll be responsible for bringing hell on earth and I can't let her do that."  
  
Angel just held on tightly. Xander had lost a friend today, one that he had dream after and had held in high regard. One day the two of them may have to take care of the girl to prevent her from becoming worse than Angelus ever had been. "It'll work out in the end."  
  
"Yeah, I know." Xander stood up straight and pulled away from Angel. "We need to figure out why we were sent back. TPTB are the only ones that I can think of that would do it and that means that they need us here. Do you know anyone with access to them? I refuse to be their pawns and wander around aimlessly."  
  
"Yeah, but they won't be up right now. We can take care of it tomorrow. Let's get some rest. I think the bedroom should still be habitable. I don't think anyone else would have used the Mansion while we've been gone."  
  
"Alright. Lead the way." Xander tiredly followed Angel through the maze of rooms. They found the bed, covered in dust, but usable. They had certainly seen a lot worse in their sojourn in Hell.  
  
The next day would bring their purpose in coming back to Sunnydale and would reveal the huge chasm that separated Xander from the Scoobies, but for now, he was home safe and with his love. For the first time in centuries, Xander Harris was content. 


	4. Back in Sunnydale, At Last?

The next day Xander woke around noon. After determining he and Angel were safe, he slowly stretched and took stock of their situation. He and Angel were back in Sunnydale and while an indeterminate number of years had passed for them, only three months had passed in this dimension. That meant that they probably wouldn't have to worry too much about finances or people wondering where they had gone. A summer road trip would cover him and well, no one really would have been looking for Angel.  
  
He got up and went to the bathroom. He wasn't surprised to see that the while it had modern amenities, there was no mirror hanging on the wall. He wasn't too sure if he wanted to see what he looked liked. The other place didn't have mirrors; most demons found no use for the objects and Xander had only occasionally seen his reflection in some water. He knew by his friends' reactions that he looked different than before. He wasn't certain that he wanted to note the difference. He knew that the scars from those years would clearly show through and he didn't know if he wanted to permanently acknowledge those changes and by seeing the changes, he could no longer deny that they had taken place.  
  
But for now, he didn't have to make that choice. After letting the water in the shower warm up, he stepped into the first shower he had taken since the day he had disappeared from Sunnydale. He spent quite a bit of time enjoying the warm water and was glad he was back, even if he ended up having to slay something really big and slimy.  
  
When the water starting running cold, he knew it was time to get out. He reached for the towel he had found in a cupboard and dried off. He had managed to scrounge up a clean set of clothes he could wear from Angel's closet. He had found leather pants and a silk over shirt to wear and put them on. He looked at his other clothes in disgust, but he didn't know quite what to do with them.he did want to keep them. They were, after all, made to fit him and were comfortable. He just wasn't sure if he could clean the others. Well, he'd make sure to drop them off at a drycleaners; hopefully they'd be able to remove the smells and stains that come from hundreds of battles and from only having one real set of clothes.  
  
By the time he was fully dressed, it was only a couple hours to dusk. He went back to the bedroom and shook Angel awake. He was the only one that could approach the vampire without Angel going on guard. Angel woke and smiled up at Xander, "Hello."  
  
Xander smirked back, "Hello. Sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah. How long have you been up?"  
  
"Long enough to have the best shower of my life and to realize you don't have any food here."  
  
"Why don't you go out and get us both something to eat-I probably have some cash around here. I'll take a shower and wait for you to come back." Angel smirked and got up from the bed. He headed for his closet and grabbed some clothes; he didn't care what as long as it was clean. Xander was still standing where he had left him. "What? Couldn't find the cash?"  
  
Xander just shook his head and walked over to the dresser. "Where would you hide it?"  
  
"Um, probably there. Nobody comes into the Mansion, so I didn't have to hide it too well."  
  
"Okay, fine. Do you think that the drycleaners would get slime out of my old clothes?"  
  
Angel started to laugh. "Probably, but do you really want to wear them again?"  
  
"Yeah, they fit really well, and I have a feeling we'll need sturdy clothing. I'll go out, get the food, blood and hit the drycleaners. By the time I get back, it should be full dark and we can go hit your contacts. Find out what the TPTB want. By that time, it should be time to head over to Giles'."  
  
"Alright." Angel walked over to Xander, who was now standing by the door. "Be safe, it's still Sunnydale out there."  
  
"Yeah, I know, but I can take care of myself. I have been for a long time now."  
  
Hurt quickly appeared then disappeared across Angel's face. "Fine, I just don't want anything to happen to you."  
  
Xander saw the look on Angel's face. He sighed, "Angel, I didn't mean it that way. You're my protector and always will be. You taught me everything you know and should take confidence in that." He placed his hand on Angel's face, "Trust me?"  
  
Angel smiled slightly. "I just don't want to lose you. I know you can take care of yourself, but this town has brought both of us nothing but pain." Angel leaned over and rested his forehead against Xander's. "Be careful?"  
  
"Of course." Xander gently kissed his mate and then pulled away. "I'll come back to you, I promise." He turned and walked away.  
  
Angel watched him until he turned outside the door, and then picked up his clothes again. He was looking forward to a shower himself. Hopefully the water had warmed back up enough after Xander the water hog's shower.  
  
Xander walked to downtown Sunnydale. He had found a drycleaners that promised to have them done by the end of the night. Xander wondered why they'd be open that late at night, but he mentally shrugged and thought 'only in Sunnydale.' He spotted his favorite Chinese restaurant and went in and stocked up on his favorites. He couldn't remember the last time he had non over the fire cooked meat. After placing the large order, he decided to hit the butchers while he waited for the meal to be done. He was able to get a fairly large supply and made arrangements for more to be delivered to the Mansion in a few days.  
  
By the time he was done there, it was time to pick up his order. After doing so, he started to make his way to back to the Mansion. He ran into a couple of acquaintances from school, but Xander only nodded to them in passing. He really didn't want to get into any conversations about where he'd been all summer without consulting with Giles to see what cover story they had made up about his disappearance.  
  
He made it safely back to the Mansion just as dusk fully fell. By the time they ate, it'd be safe for Angel to go out and about. He walked in as Angel finished dressing in the bedroom. "Hey, babe. Got you prezzie!" Xander held out the bags of blood.  
  
"Gee, blood, that just screams 'I love you!'" Angel sarcastically replied.  
  
"Hey, to a vampire, it should!" Xander had a quick come back.  
  
Angel just smirked and grabbed the bags. He was hungry. He hadn't eaten for a while and the blood lust was getting to him. His feeding face came out and he lowered his fangs to puncture the bag. He looked up in surprise. "This is human!"  
  
"Yup, found a butcher that had it. Seems like a few demons like it and he makes a fair profit. It's all freely given-he has a deal with the blood bank. This is the stuff humans can't use for one reason or another," Xander looked hopefully over at Angel.  
  
"Thank you. I haven't had human in a while."  
  
"Told you I had a prezzie." Xander muttered to himself as he sat down on the bed. He opened his bad of Chinese and started eating Lo Mein out of the box. Angel laughed and went to the kitchen to place most of the blood in the fridge and to warm up a bag on the stove. This done, he placed the blood in a mug he had rinsed out and went back to Xander.  
  
"Why don't you eat in the dining room?"  
  
"'oo 'usty."  
  
"Huh? Oh, too dusty?"  
  
"'eah."  
  
"Ah, we'll have to clean a bit when we get back."  
  
Xander snorted into the take out box. They clean? He'd persuade Angel to hire a cleaning service.  
  
Xander quickly devoured a large portion of his food. The rest he put in the refrigerator for a snack later on that night. "Okay, let's go."  
  
They both loaded up on weapons-the Mansion had plenty, along with what they had brought. The last thing they did before leaving was put on their dusters. Neither had gone anywhere in longer than they count without them.  
  
Angel led the way to the demon part of town. They stopped in at Willie's and frightened the bartender. The last time he had seen Angel, it was Angelus. They didn't enlighten him either. He gave the information they were seeking quickly and was relieved when they left. He couldn't quite figure out who the human was and why Angelus hadn't eaten him already, though.  
  
****  
  
The banging on the door woke the sleeping demon. He was confused because most people made appointments to see him and no one had arranged to see him tonight. While unusual, it was nice to have a break.  
  
He opened the door just as the banging began to get louder. "What do you want?" He stopped himself from saying more as he realized that Angelus was standing at his door. He stepped back and started to slam the door shut.  
  
"No!" Xander shouted and reached out and stuck his hand out to stop the door from fully closing. He almost lost a finger or two, but managed to stop it from closing. He inserted his body into the doorway and walked in far enough to prove he wasn't a vampire.  
  
"Who are you? Why is Angelus here?"  
  
"He's not Angelus anymore; he's Angel."  
  
The man slowly opened the door to see if they were speaking the truth. The dark haired boy seemed sincere, but he wasn't going to take chances. Angelus stood there silently, which was unusual for the vampire. Angel, on the other hand, didn't have to be the center of attention. He looked into the vamp's face and saw pain. He asked again, without the hostility of before, "What do you want?"  
  
This time Angel answered. "I need to talk to TPTB. I have to know why I'm here. We were stuck in another dimension until yesterday when we were brought here in our sleep. We don't know how or why. We need to know this and you are our key to finding out. Will you help us?"  
  
In response the man opened the door wider and simply said, "Come in."  
  
Angel smiled and walked through the door. Xander, who had stepped behind Angel during the discussion, followed and closed the door after them.  
  
They followed the demon into a back room. It was decorated with half burnt candles in pewter holders and strange writings and drawings all over the walls and the floor. Once fully into the room, the demon starting pulling out roots and herbs from various boxes on the lone table in the room. He put them in a mortar and used the pestle to grind them. Once a fine powder, he used it to trace one of the designs on the floor. Once done, he physically moved the two men into the positions he wanted them to be in. Quickly telling them not to move, he started chanting.  
  
As the chanting went on, it became hard for Xander to see anything. His vision became blurry and he swayed in time with the chants. He closed his eyes to regain his balance, hoping that if the world around him wasn't moving, he wouldn't either. When he opened them again he found himself in another room. This one was white and had no decoration. The only thing in it was three shadowed figures standing in the center of the room. While Xander couldn't see their faces, he knew they were staring at him. The intensity of their purity was almost too much for the man who spent several hundred years in Hell. He flinched away and noticed for the first time that Angel was standing next to him. The vampire was still and Xander reached out to touch his shoulder.  
  
Angel shuddered when Xander touched him. When he reached the room, he had immediately felt the intense emotions that filled it. They fought with his demon and caused him to freeze up. Only Xander's touch grounded him and allowed him to finally move and focus on his mission. He looked up at the cloaked figures and bluntly asked, "Did you pull us out of Hell?"  
  
"Yes." The choral voice rang in and around and through the two men standing. It sounded as if they heard all three voices as once, in perfect harmony, but at the same time, they were one.  
  
"Why?" he pleaded.  
  
"You were needed."  
  
"For what?" this time Xander's exasperated voice filled the room.  
  
The three figures seemed to pause and consult each other.  
  
Xander knew that if they didn't say something soon, that Angel and he would not get the full story. "No, no conferring, no trying to come up with some random story to get us to do what you want. Tell us the truth!" he demanded.  
  
His words seemed to strike a chord among one of the white figures. This figure nodded and started to speak. The choral voice once again filled the room. "We need you."  
  
"Yeah, we got that."  
  
"Xander!" Angel tried to get Xander to be quiet, knowing they did not want to antagonize these creatures.  
  
"What?" Xander tried his innocent face, but knew it didn't work on his lover.  
  
Angel just sighed and hoped TPTB would talk again. His wish was granted and they continued talking after watching the two with amusement.  
  
"We need you," the voice paused waiting for an interruption. When they didn't get it, they continued. "Years ago a demon came into this world from Hell. It slowly integrated itself into Earth's demon society. He became indispensable to a great number of creatures-men and demons alike. Even to ourselves; we needed him as a balance. But this balance is now threatened by his presence. Yet he will not leave. No one in this realm could defeat him so we brought you back. You will slay him." The three turned and started to walk. As they walked toward the far wall, they faded.  
  
Xander's voice made them stop and turn back. "Wait! How will know this demon? What does it look like? Where is it? How can we slay it?"  
  
"You will know it when it finds you. You already have the knowledge you seek. It will find you soon." The three turned back and faded completely just as they reached the back wall. When this happened, Angel and Xander felt a huge jerk around their waists. They both blacked out briefly and when they opened their eyes they were once again in the original room with the demon they had sought out.  
  
Angel and Xander pushed themselves off the floor and stood up. The demon spoke again, "Did you get what you wanted?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The two walked through the house and stopped right outside the door. "We're going to have to do this, aren't we?"  
  
"Yes, we are."  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"We don't have a choice. Come on, it's almost 9, we're due at the Watcher's."  
  
Xander and Angel walked down the street, their dusters flapping behind them, illuminated only by the street lights placed on either side of the street. 


	5. Doughnut Boy No Longer

Within minutes, Angel and Xander had reached Giles' door. Xander hesitated briefly before squaring his shoulders and pressing the doorbell. Within seconds an anxious Willow flung open the door and greeted them. "Xander! Angel! You're here! Not that you wouldn't but I was afraid you'd get side tracked on the way. Not that you couldn't take care of yourselves, but I was worried that something would happen and it's been so long since I've seen you but it's probably been longer since you've seen me, right?" Willow paused to take a breath and Xander interrupted.  
  
"Willow, Willow! Calm down. Can we at least get inside the door before your babble fest continues?" Xander pushed past the girl and walked into the Watcher's living room. Before he got too far in, he realized that Angel was still outside. Giles had revoked the invite spell on the house while Angelus still roamed free in Sunnydale. "Come in, Angel." Angel walked in the door and caught up with Xander. He was greeted with silence and stares from the people within. Giles, Buffy, Oz and Cordelia were all watching the man as he strode into the room. Angel made sure to keep close to his lover as the looks he was getting, especially from Giles and Buffy were enough to make the vampire nervous.  
  
Xander realized that he would have to make the first move. None of the Scooby Gang were quite sure how to react to the New Xander. He turned to Willow, who still held the door open. "Willow, you might want to close that," with a nod towards the door.  
  
"Oh!" Willow had frozen, not realizing that she hadn't closed the door yet. She did so hurriedly and when closed, ran over to Oz and sat down next to him.  
  
Giles reached up and took off his glasses. Pulling a handkerchief from his sports coat pocket, he cleaned the lenses and replaced them on his face. "Yes, well."  
  
Cordelia interrupted Giles. "Where have you two been? And hello? Angelus? Xander, you hate him. Evil murderous bastard there. Why isn't he dead?" She turned to Buffy, "You saw him last night; I repeat, why isn't he dead?"  
  
Xander chose this moment to speak up. "Cordy, settle down. Angel has his soul. He had it before we got sucked into hell. It was too late to stop the portal from opening and I tried to close it, but it opened." He sighed. "It pulled Angel in and me as well. There was no way that either of us could have escaped the vortex."  
  
Giles cleared his throat, "Yes, Cordelia, please do calm down. Now is not the time for hysterics."  
  
Cordelia huffed, but settled back into her seat. "I still don't trust him. And what's wrong with Xander? He's never acted that way before!"  
  
"Cordelia, do leave it alone. It is only natural for Xander to be a bit different. Time runs differently where he and Xander were and they were gone longer than the few months that went by here."  
  
Cordelia spoke up again, "How long? A year? Two?"  
  
Angel was the one to answer, "Hundreds, Cordelia, hundreds. We were there for hundreds of years among demons and creatures that all lived to hunt us down and torture us. They didn't want to kill us. They wanted to make sure we suffered."  
  
Angel's speech, unexpected from the usually quiet vampire, shocked the Scoobies. None of them had wanted to comprehend what the long stay in hell had meant to the two. Giles was the only one who had thought about this subject in any depth and he hadn't wanted to dwell on the changes the young boy had gone through.  
  
Buffy hadn't thought about it at all and her entire stance went from confident slayer to distraught friend. She hadn't wanted to think about what her hesitancy to kill Angel had meant to Xander. It was her fault that Xander had had to go, literally, to Hell.  
  
Oz had known that Xander had been different. His wolf had acknowledged that this man was no longer the Zeppo he had been before. He was now an alpha and Oz recognized the fact that Xander had changed and wouldn't change back.  
  
Willow still thought that she could get her Xander back. All she had to do was find the right spell.Her eyes began to change color, darkening but no one other than Xander noticed.  
  
Cordelia broke the silence, "Morbid much?"  
  
Xander began to laugh, "I've missed you, Cordy!" His outburst startled the others and they began to laugh as well, though more out of the fact that they needed to release some emotion. "And as much as I'd love to stand here and trade insults back and forth, Angel and I had an interesting chat with the Oracles tonight. We found out why they brought us back."  
  
"What did you find out, Xander?" Giles knew that this information would not be pleasant. The Oracles would not release Angel and Xander if the Slayer alone would have been able to handle this next threat.  
  
Xander took a deep breath and proceeded to share what the Oracles had told them. It didn't take very long and he finished with "And so they said that we'd know what the demon was, that we already have the information we need. They also said that no one is this realm could slay it and that's why we were brought back. Angel and I must have learned something in Hell that applies to this case. But I don't know what. We were there for a long time." His voice trailed off.  
  
"We made a point of finding out everything we could about the different types of demons. The more information we had, the less likely it was that we would be caught unawares. But that's several hundred years of information." Angel finished speaking and turned to Giles. "Has there been any reports of something unusual lately?"  
  
Buffy snorted. "Unusual? This is the Hellmouth. No one notices anything. I tried Willie's earlier tonight but the only thing I got out of him was that Angelus was back in town."  
  
Angel frowned. "We were there earlier."  
  
Xander interrupted, "Yeah, Willie didn't seem to happy to see us, but then again, when is he?"  
  
Nobody chose to answer that particular question. Giles just shook his head and made for his bookcases. "Well, let's go through some of the prophecy books and see if they mention anything familiar. Later you and Angel can go on patrol with Buffy and see if you notice anything. Perhaps you and Angel can start a list of demons you have knowledge of and the rest of us can start looking through the books."  
  
Xander grinned, "Thanks, G-man, now I really feel like I'm home again. I actually kind of missed these research parties. Can I call for pizza?"  
  
"Xander, how many times have I told you not to call me that? And yes, you can order pizza."  
  
"Thanks, G-man. Does anyone have a preference?" Xander reached for the phone and a phonebook. He found the number for a pizza place that delivered and placed an order. The group settled down to reading and only took a break when the pizza arrived.  
  
Xander and Angel shared the couch, sitting close while they filled out a list. They exchanged quiet comments and sometimes laughter when they remembered a certain fight or experience. Periodically, they would look up and notice someone looking at them. Buffy, Cordelia and Willow most often seemed stunned at the easy affection the two shared.  
  
Buffy and Cordelia were both shocked at the two men. Cordelia was upset because while Xander and she had not spent a lot of time together, and most of that hiding in closets, she had expected that if Xander came back, he would come back to her. Now, he not only seemed to have forgotten her, he was dating Angelus! Not only was he a vampire that Xander had hated, but he was a guy! When had Xander Harris ever been attracted to men? After awhile, though, Cordelia could see that the two worked well together. Whatever they had gone through, had bound the two men together closely.  
  
Buffy, on the other hand, was extremely upset. How could Angel forget about her completely? He was hers! And Xander.he had a crush on her and he was attracted only to beautiful women, like Kendra or the Inca princess, not men. She spent most of the night watching them interact. She slowly came to a realization. Angel would never be hers. Not only would the fact that Angel had tried to kill her forever keep her from fully trusting him, but he was a vampire. The girl in her would always love Angel, but the slayer in her would forever be opposed to the vamp. It would take time, but she would get used to the fact that Angel would never be hers and that he was now attached with Xander Harris, doughnut boy.  
  
That was something she'd have to get used to as well. Xander was no longer the doughnut boy. He was extremely fit and had an air of confidence around him that she had not seen on a normal human before. He looked like he could take care of himself and had taken care of himself in tough situations. Sometimes he would look up from the list he and Angel were creating and stare off into space and his eyes would contain pain that could only have been placed there by extreme hardships and cruelty. She mourned for the boy he used to be, but looked forward to getting to know the man he had become.  
  
Willow watched the two fighters, sitting on the couch, with hostility. How dare they come to her town and pretend to be her best friend and Angel? These creatures were so obviously in the wrong dimension that Willow knew she'd have to something to remove them from the scene. She remembered a spell that was contained in one the magic books Giles had forbidden her to read, but she had snuck into anyway. While Giles was distracted eating his late supper and looking for an index, Willow went over to the off-limits bookcase and grabbed the book she was thinking of.  
  
It took her several minutes but she did eventually find the spell she was looking for. While it wouldn't bring her Xander back to her, it would permanently take these two and place them in a realm that was worse than Hell. They would never be able to leave and would be appropriately punished for bringing all their hopes up. The pain they'd experience would be enough payment for her losing her best friend.  
  
The thought that this might really be Xander and Angel never crossed her mind. He had changed too much for her to be comfortable with and that was a crime to her. She bookmarked the page of the book and placed it next to her. She picked up another book, intent on learning everything she could and paged through smiling a very non-Willowy smile.  
  
Xander had been keeping an eye out on all the Scoobies. Giles and Oz seemed to be entrenched in their books, writing down comments on legal pads and paging through different books while eating pizza slices.  
  
Cordelia and Buffy seemed to be thinking more than researching and both seemed to keep a close eye on him as well. He knew that they'd just have to come to terms with the "new" Xander Harris but hopefully it wouldn't take too long. He had missed both girls during his exile and really just wanted them to get to know him again. He smiled inwardly when he saw Cordelia finally lose the "I smell something foul" look on her face and when she actually smiled a real smile at him, he smiled back.  
  
When Buffy sighed and gave a sad smile to both him and Angel, he knew that while things weren't perfect between them, they would, at least, have the chance to get better.  
  
Who really worried him was Willow. Unlike Giles, he did notice where she had gone over to grab books from. He had a quiet conversation with Giles and realized that Giles really didn't know how far Willow had gone into magic. Giles said that he had forbidden her from the more serious magics when he caught her trying serious black magic spells earlier in the summer, right after Xander and Angel had disappeared. However, Giles assumed that Willow had listened to him and had stopped.  
  
Xander had happened to look up just as Willow marked a page in one of the books. He saw her unusual smile and knew that this creature was not the girl he had known. He walked over to where she was researching and said, "This seat taken?"  
  
For a moment Willow looked up, her expression full of hatred for the man she saw in front of her, but it quickly faded into an old Willow mask. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Sit! I'm not saving it for anybody.and now you're sitting in it so I don't have to save it for anybody." Willow stopped talking abruptly, seemingly realizing that her babbling was making little sense.  
  
Xander purposely laughed and told her, "I'm glad you haven't changed, Willow. You were one of the things I missed the most while I was gone. I've seen so much and done so much that I'm really not the same person anymore." He looked up and away from the girl. "I know I'm different, but I am your Xander. I'm still the same guy that stole your Barbie."  
  
Willow gasped. She had been listening to the imposter with a lightly veiled cynicism, but he really sounded like her Xander! But he couldn't be. Her Xander would not be sleeping with a vampire.  
  
Xander continued talking, pretending he didn't hear her gasp and that he didn't see the emotions that flickered across her face. "When Angel and I got to Hell, we had to rely on each other. It took awhile, but we grew to be friends. We were the only ones that really cared and we missed the same people. It brought us together. And well, here we are! But Willow, I'm happy with him and now that we're back home, things are good. Well, we do have to slay, but that's not anything new!" He had concentrated on Willow during his talk and he had hoped that Willow would change her mind; maybe hold off on what she was planning, but he saw her put on her resolve face and saw her eyes move to the book she had marked and back to his face.  
  
He tried one last time, "Willow. I am Xander but I am not the Zeppo I was that you thought you knew. I've fought, Willow, fought long and hard. I've had to learn and do things you can never imagine to survive. In the process I fell in love with a vampire. I fell in love with Angel. You WILL accept this and you WILL not do anything drastic. Do you understand?"  
  
Willow looked at him shocked, "I have no idea what you're talking about! I wasn't going to do anything!" She protested a bit too much for his taste. Xander picked up the book, focusing on her face. Willow started squirming around in her seat. She wouldn't look him in the eyes and could barely focus on anything other than the book he held in his hands.  
  
Xander took hold of the bookmark and opened to the indicated page. He glanced down and caught the title. "Shit!" The expletive rang out loudly in the quiet room. Everyone turned to look at him, shocked at the seemingly random swearing.  
  
"Willow! Do you know what this would have done?" He stood up, towering over the smaller girl. "You will not banish us! We belong here. This would have destroyed both this world and the one you tried to send us too! Do you need to control everyone in your world that much that you would destroy us all? You can't always have things your way, Willow!"  
  
Xander grabbed her arm and pulled her up so that they were face to face. "I loved you, Willow. But this is unforgivable. You obviously cannot be trusted with the magic you have." He paused and turned to Giles, who was gaping at him. "Do you have the supplies for a binding spell? I'll need two candles, one black one white, black cord; black silk, rose oil, incense and rue."  
  
Giles found his voice, "What is the meaning of this? You will not bind her!"  
  
"Yes, I will." Xander's voice was implacable. "She was planning on using this," Xander held up the book, "to banish Angel and myself." Giles had walked over to where Xander and Willow stood and Xander handed the book over, open to the correct page.  
  
Giles started to read, his face going pale as he took in the contents and realized what could have happened. His Ripper façade slipped out, "Foolish girl! You could have destroyed us all!" He slammed the book shut and went to grab Willow. She flinched and managed to somehow avoid Giles, but still remained in Xander's bruising grip. Giles took a deep breath and turned away. He walked towards his private bookcase and placed the book back in the correct place, noting the other gaps and decided he would be having a long talk with Willow about where those books had gone. There were more missing than the few books that were on the table. He started cursing under his breath, that fool girl could have turned this plane into something worse than Hell!  
  
Giles then remembered Xander's request and decided to honor it. He had everything needed.  
  
Buffy stayed where she was, stunned. She had no idea what was going on. That was not okay with her. She was the Slayer! "What's going on? What did Willow do? What's the problem with Giles?" she whined. Xander had changed so much and now he was making Willow and Giles act weird.  
  
Xander looked over at the girl, "Buffy, don't worry about it. Giles and I have this under control."  
  
"But what's going on!?"  
  
Oz choose this moment to speak up, "I'd like to know that too, and why you have my girlfriend in a death grip." His low voice carried across the room to Xander.  
  
Xander knew he would have no peace until he told the young slayer what was happening and the werewolf deserved to know what kind of witch Willow was. "Willow decided that Angel and I were not the right ones. She decided to use a very powerful, very old, dangerous and VERY forbidden spell to banish us to a realm so evil, so dangerous it doesn't have a name anymore. No one speaks of it. However, since both Angel and I are from here, she would have ended up destroying this plane, the plane she was sending us too and who knows what other damage would have been caused."  
  
Oz and Buffy both winced and stood down from their confrontation stances. Cordy just stayed where she was sitting, book in lap. Angel hissed then growled low, his eyes flickering yellow. He knew what spell his lover was speaking about and the damage it could have created. He also knew something else about the spell. "It would have also sent the castor with the ones being banished. The price for that spell is incredibly high."  
  
Willow burst out into tears. "But I didn't mean to! I just wanted my Xander back!"  
  
"But you almost did, Willow. The magic completely surrounds you. This is not the first spell of this magnitude you've cast, is it?"  
  
"No," she whispered.  
  
"That's why I'm binding you. You have no control anymore. The magic will eat you alive and will take the world with you. You're a danger to yourself and to us. You cannot cast anymore. It's an addiction and one you cannot surrender to."  
  
Willow remained hunched over and continued to sob. Xander had no compassion for the girl at this point. He saw the looks she continued to send his way that she believed were hidden. She had no remorse for what she would have done. Perhaps, in time, when the magic had faded somewhat, they might be able to get their Willow back, but like himself, she would never be the same.  
  
For the next few minutes, no one spoke. Giles finally reemerged from his back room, carrying several objects that he started laying out. Xander corrected him a few times in the placement, "Xander, I know how to lay out a binding spell." He was definitely frustrated with the boy.  
  
"Giles, I know what I'm doing. I'm not doing the traditional binding spell. This one is much stronger and has the ability to drain some of the taint off of the subject."  
  
Giles looked up from the candles he was setting down and just blinked at the man. "What?"  
  
Xander smiled, "Yes, Giles. It has that ability and I think we need it. Don't you?"  
  
"Yes, yes, quite." He finished off the preparations and stepped back.  
  
Xander grabbed Willow by the arm again and dragged her over to the circle. He placed her in the middle and had Giles stand behind her and Angel to the right. He placed Buffy to the left and he stood in front of his former friend. "Cordelia, Oz. Please stand in the kitchen. I don't want your energies involved in this." He waited until they moved out of the way, Oz pausing in front of Willow, searching her eyes and face for some sign that Xander was wrong. He didn't find it and moved into the kitchen with the cheerleader.  
  
Xander started chanting and everyone, including the two in the kitchen could feel his power rising. Willow started to pant, then scream as the chanting went on. Giles and  
  
Angel could see where lines of black started streaming off the girl. Other lines of different colors wrapped themselves around her, sinking into her skin. Finally the chanting stopped and Willow collapsed, as did Xander.  
  
Angel ran to his mate, who whispered, "It's done." With that, Xander closed his eyes and fainted.  
  
Giles looked at the girl he had come to care greatly about. He gestured to Buffy to pick her up and move her to the couch. "Angel, why don't you and Xander spend the night. The guest room is on the other side of the bathroom. The window can be blocked so that the sun can't enter."  
  
Angel thanked him and picked up Xander in his arms, carrying the heavy man to the bedroom and slipping into bed with him. He wasn't worried about him as he knew that Xander was just tired and worn out from the heavy casting. It had happened before and would most likely happen again. Xander would wake in the morning with a headache, but otherwise be fine.  
  
Back in the living room, Willow was being watched by a concerned Slayer, Watcher, werewolf and cheerleader. Though the cheerleader was more worried about whether or not she had to do anything than the girl passed out on the couch. "Can I go now?"  
  
"Please do, Cordelia. We'll call you tomorrow if we need your help."  
  
"Fine." She left, grabbing her coat and purse. Buffy watched out the window, making sure she reached her car safely. When Cordelia drove off, she turned back to the remaining people. "What now?"  
  
"Now we wait. I do believe she'll sleep until morning, as will Xander, but you are welcome to stay if you'd like. I will bring you some bedding and pillows."  
  
Giles went to his hall closet and pulled out some blankets and pillows, handing them off to the boy that had followed him. "Good night, Oz, Buffy." He walked into his bedroom, stripped and fell into bed, exhausted. He did so hope that tomorrow would not be as hectic.  
  
Oz placed a pillow under Willow's head and covered her with a light blanket. He and Buffy made a small nest on the floor and lay down. Within minutes, the apartment was quiet except for the occasional snore that came from the Slayer. 


	6. The Heart Of The Matter

The next morning everyone woke up late. Angel and Xander were the only exceptions. They continued to sleep, uninterrupted by the events that were taking place in Giles' living room. Angel never stirred, as he usually awoke when the sun set. Xander remained drained from his casting the night before. By the afternoon, most of his strength will have returned, but until then, he remained in a stasis like state.  
  
By the time Willow had awakened, Giles, Buffy and Oz were up and had situated themselves around the couch where she was laying. Giles nursed a cup of tea, while Buffy finished up a bowl of cereal. Oz had a cup of coffee, but it had grown cold as he spent most of his time staring at his girlfriend.  
  
"It'll be okay, Oz." Buffy's voice startled both Oz and Giles out of their contemplations. "Whatever Xander and Giles did last night fixed her, right Giles?"  
  
Giles could hear the hope in Buffy's voice, but had to dash her hopes. "No, Buffy. What we did last night was bind her magic away from Willow. She can no longer use it. That does not mean that she doesn't want to." He sighed. "It's like an addiction and a serious one that is nearly impossible to break. We may never see the girl we knew again. But there was no other option." He dropped his head and glared into his now cold tea. "There was no other option," he repeated, muttering more to himself than either Oz or Buffy.  
  
It was at that moment that Willow stirred. Instantly three sets of eyes were trained on her face. When she fully woke, it was to her closest friend, her boyfriend and the nearest thing she had to a caring father watching her like she was one of the evil undead. "What? What's wrong?"  
  
Buffy spoke up, "Willow? Don't you remember? You went all psycho postal last night and almost blew up the world."  
  
Willow, during this speech, paled, then reddened and then paled again. "I.I." she couldn't seem to form a full sentence. Abruptly she stopped and a look of horror appeared on her face. "What did I do? Oh Goddess, Xander!"  
  
Oz and Buffy went to the girl and both gave her hugs. Giles remained seated, his expression thoughtful. He had noticed, though neither of the other two did, that Willow gained an evil half smirk while she was hugging her friend. He knew that he'd have to keep an eye on her. She was incredibly intelligent and powerful, but he knew the Ripper could outmaneuver this little girl at any time. Perhaps he'd give Ethan a ring and see if he had any advice for reforming magic addicts while he was at it. Ethan had been struggling for years and might know some good people who could help as well.  
  
He set aside his mug, placing it on the coffee table in front of him. "Willow, we will be talking about what you have done and I will be expecting you to bring everything you have that is related to magic here by tonight. That includes my spell books and yours as well. Do you understand?"  
  
She glared at him but quickly changed her expression. But not soon enough. Buffy and Oz had both seen the glare and were now more wary of the girl. "Yes, Giles."  
  
"Good, perhaps Buffy will go with you to help?"  
  
"Yes, Giles, I'll go with." Buffy knew that she was the best person to help as she knew most of Willow's hiding places.  
  
"I'll go with." Oz spoke for the first time that morning. "I can probably smell if she misses something." He tapped his nose. "Wolfie smelling and all that."  
  
Giles smiled at the boy and thanked him. He looked down at his watch, "Why don't you all go now? It's almost lunchtime and by the time you go, eat and get Willow's magic supplies it'll almost be dark. We can't forget what Xander and Angel are here for and by sunset they'll both be awake. We need to get out and find that demon."  
  
Buffy and Oz agreed and dragged an unwilling Willow out the door. She had hoped to get some time alone in Giles' house, but she was willing to wait until tonight. She just knew that she could find the spell to unbind her.  
  
The three proceeded out the door and over to Willow's house. There Willow half heartedly gathered up some of her magic things. What she missed Buffy grabbed and what she missed Oz found. By the pissed off expression on Willow's face, Oz and Buffy knew they had gotten most, if not all, of it.  
  
As the afternoon wore on, Oz had come to a decision. This was no longer the girl he had fallen in love with. He had decided to go ahead and take the GED and get his diploma. He would be free to travel with his band. He had hesitated about going with because of Willow, but she was longer who he wanted. "Buffy, will you go to the kitchen and get us something to drink?"  
  
"What? Why can't, oh. Yeah, sure, I'll be back in a minute." Buffy, at first, was confused why Oz asked her to get something from the kitchen, but then saw the looks Oz was sending Willow's way. No one could accuse her of being slow on the uptake!  
  
She walked out of the room and down the stairs. She fiddled around with the dishes in the sink and then decided that she was hungry. She fixed herself a sandwich and ate it over the sink, staring out the window. Nothing would be the same again for her. In three months she had lost her boyfriend and her best friends. And not only had she lost Xander and Angel, but when they came back, they were attached to each other. She wondered if anything would have been different if she had been the one to send Angel to Hell.  
  
While Buffy was busy staying out of the way, Oz asked Willow to sit down. She sat on her bed and grabbed a pillow to hug. Oz rarely wanted to talk and when he did it was serious. Even in her current state, she did care about Oz.  
  
"Willow, I'm going on tour."  
  
"What? But, but you have to stay here and finish high school, 'cause you need your degree, and without your degree you can't go to college and."  
  
Oz interrupted her babbling. "I'm taking the GED and going on tour with the Dingoes. You scared me, Wills. And you're not the person I fell in love with. You're different and I don't think you'll ever be the same again. I don't think I can handle having to protect myself from you. So I'm going to go away from here. I'm not sure where, but it won't be here."  
  
Willow had started crying sometime during his speech. "Don't cry," he wiped the tears from her face, "I'll be back sometime and maybe then things will be different, but I really think I would be more of hindrance to your recovery right now than I would be a help. Let me go, Willow."  
  
She nodded but kept crying. "When are you leaving?"  
  
"Soon. I have an appointment next Saturday for the test and the Dingoes have a gig the weekend after that. It'll take us awhile to get there, so we'll leave as soon as possible. I want to help Xander and by then it'll be time for me to go."  
  
"Okay." Willow finally felt her actions hit home. She had driven away her best friend. She had lost her boyfriend and knew that Giles would never trust her again. And Xander, she had almost killed her oldest and dearest friend because she was too addicted to see the truth. She sobbed harder and Oz reached out and pulled her into a hug. He just let her cry, knowing that she had to face some hard truths before she could begin to heal.  
  
Eventually Buffy came back upstairs, even remembering to bring drinks with her. They finished up packing, Willow pulling out a few books that even Oz had missed and started back to the Watcher's house. It was almost dusk by the time they arrived, their arrival coinciding with the pizza delivery.  
  
Earlier that afternoon, an hour or so after their departure from Giles', Xander had woken up, refreshed. The casting the night before had been hard, but he was used to using powerful magic. The difference between him and Willow, though, was the fact he used it out of necessity. There was no desire in him for the use of magic and any temptation that there might have been was not anything he cared to have. He liked relying on his strength and intelligence rather than relying on something so unpredictable and so dangerous as magic.  
  
He awoke surrounded by Angel. The vampire had wrapped himself around the man so completely that one couldn't tell whose leg belonged to whom without serious contemplation. Xander smiled. This was how he liked to wake up, in his lover's arms. To him it was proof that he was loved and cared for. Some days, it seemed like Angel would never let go and Xander hoped he never would. Today though, as much as he loved being held by Angel, and as much as he didn't want to move, he had to. He really needed to go to the bathroom.  
  
So, at first with care, then more forcibly as he couldn't remove the leech like arms of his Angel, he tried to pry the vampire off of him. His only success was a few mumblings out of the vamp's mouth and the tightening of arms around him. He sighed. Time to pull out the big guns. He shouted in Angel's ear, "Oh my God! Is that Spike?" This would be sure to wake the vampire; it had never failed in the hundreds of years that had been together. Angel had serious issues about his vampire kin, especially Spike.  
  
The tried and true method did not fail the now laughing man. Angel released Xander and had jumped from bed, landing in a defensive position. He looked around confused and eventually turned to glare at the laughing man in bed. "Xander, did you have to do that?"  
  
"Yes, yes I did. You should've seen your face!"  
  
Angel didn't bother to respond; he just climbed into bed and tackled his chortling lover. Placing Xander's arms above his head, he leaned down over him. "You think you're funny, don't you?"  
  
"Yup, Deadboy, what're ya going to do about it?" His smirk only goaded the vampire more.  
  
"This." And Angel bent down and proceeded to thoroughly kiss the man until he was breathless. When he finally released Xander, he whispered, "Give up?"  
  
"Never, but I really have to go," was whispered back.  
  
Angel laughed and released Xander. "Okay, but hurry back, I have better things we could do than sleep."  
  
Xander just whimpered and rolled out of bed. "That's not making it any easier for me!" Angel's laughter followed him down the hall to the bathroom. Xander took the time to clean up and when he saw the time, knew he couldn't take Angel up on his offer.  
  
When he got back to the room, he talked with his lover. While Xander was thoroughly kissed again, he let Angel go back to sleep. He went out into the living room and ran into Giles. Literally.  
  
"Sorry G-man! Didn't see you there."  
  
"Xander, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"  
  
Xander just smiled and said, "Probably a lot, but I lost count over the years since I saw you last."  
  
Giles seemed to freeze for a second. "You know, I missed you while you were gone. I never realized how vital you were to this group, Xander. You were the heart. When this is over with, I hope you stay so we can get to know you again."  
  
Xander hesitated before he spoke again. "I don't know, Giles. I don't think we'll go too far, but neither Angel nor I fit in around here anymore. I can't go back to high school. I'm no longer the goofy child that had to put on a mask everyday. I can't go back to him and I would never want to. I want to remain friends with everybody, but it'd be too hard to do it here." He paused again. "Maybe after I get used to being back. Angel and I are going to stick together no matter what. We've talked about where we might end up and L.A. sounds good. A lot of people need help there. We could do a lot of good. And that way we won't be too far away, so don't forget about us the next apocalypse you have, okay?"  
  
"Xander, as long as it's what you want, I'll be happy. Just don't forget we're your friends, okay?"  
  
"Sure." Xander's stomach broke the emotional moment up. Both men started to laugh. "But can I get something to eat first before we start having hugs?" Xander half whined, half laughed.  
  
"Feel free to ravage my kitchen. I'm not sure what's there, but I know I have eggs and toast at least."  
  
Xander went into the kitchen and almost moaned with delight. It had been a long time since he had access to modern utilities and food that was not cooked over a campfire. The Chinese and the pizza from the night before had been heaven, but he really had missed eggs. After quickly making a late lunch, Xander finished dressing.  
  
"Hey, G-man." Giles groaned at the name but looked up from one of his books, "I'm going out. I dropped some stuff off to be cleaned and I want to see if anyone has noticed anything unusual, well more unusual that usual. I should be back before supper. Why don't you order us pizza, it'll be easier than cooking for us all."  
  
Giles agreed and before he realized it, Xander had gone. He shook his head, Xander may be several hundred years old, but he still acted like he was 16 sometimes.  
  
Xander went to the dry cleaners and picked up his clothes. He was relieved to find that they had successfully been worked on. It would be nice to be able to go into battle with familiar clothing that he was used to. It didn't hurt that he looked great in the leather as well.  
  
As the place was quite close to Giles', Xander went back and changed, dropping off Angel's clothing as well. Feeling more like himself, Xander hunted down Willie. It was too early for him to be at the bar, but the human rat was quite easy to find. Xander got little information from the sniveling man, but learned of a few sources that might have heard of the new evil.  
  
Xander was directed to some of the oldest demon infected areas of town there were. Other than a few looks, he managed to get to his soon-to-be informant's place of residence. Banging on the door, he waited to be let in. It opened a crack, "Willie said I could get info here." Xander spit out the request.  
  
"No humans allowed. Leave before you get eaten." The door started to slam.  
  
Xander pushed his hand in between the door and the frame. "You don't understand. I'm not asking." He pushed his way in, and grabbed the little demon that stood in front of him with one hand. Lifting him up so that they were eye level, the demon's feet dangling several inches from the ground, Xander spoke again, "I've spent hundreds of years in Hell. I've killed bigger, badder and scarier shit than you. All I have to do is," Xander pulled a knife out from under his coat, "use this here," he poked the demon in its stomach area, "and you'd be dead. So now will I get the information I need?"  
  
The demon's eyes had taken over its face. It had also changed color from a vibrant blue to a rather pasty looking green. It shook and squeaked, nothing emitting from its mouth. Xander seemed to realize that it couldn't answer and put the thing down on the floor. It then started gasping and when if finally got its air back started to rapidly talk.  
  
Xander learned several pieces of information that could help him in his search. It seemed that in one of the cemeteries a new demon had started to make its nest, going out each night to kill food and drag it back. No one on the Hellmouth knew what type it was, but Xander recognized the description. He was not pleased.  
  
After leaving the demon where it had collapsed, Xander stormed out of the house. He ran into a few creatures that had decided that he would be easy prey. After dispatching two quite easily and quickly, no others disturbed the angry man.  
  
His foray into demon territory did not take him very long at all, and he managed to get to Giles' before Buffy, Oz and Willow reappeared. Giles' had just been about to call for pizza when he walked in the door. Putting the receiver down before he connected, Giles' demanded information, "Did you find anything out?"  
  
Xander didn't answer, instead paced around the room in circles, muttering to himself. "Why'd it have to be that?! I hate those bloody, soul sucking pieces of shit! We could have stayed in Hell and not had to deal with those stupid, mind numbing sacks of pus! Damn it!"  
  
"Xander!" Giles' voice rang out loud and harsh. "Tell me what's going on, now!"  
  
Xander turned to him, for the first time realizing he wasn't alone in the room. "Shit, Giles', it's a damn Morneaksie demon."  
  
Giles' first reaction was to go to his bookcase and start pulling down books. "What can you tell me about it?"  
  
"You won't find anything in there. They belong in the dimension where Angel and I were. We've fought them several times, but they're nasty. Really nasty. They're messy and dangerous and bloody hard to kill. We've both nearly lost our lives trying to kill the damn things. The only thing that they're scared of is obsidian. We need to get blades made out of it. And fast. It seems to be nesting in one of the cemeteries and it comes out at night to grab food."  
  
Giles rubbed his face with his hand. "Do you think you'll be able to handle it? I can get the blades for you, but it might take awhile." He got up from where he was sitting and reached for the phone again without waiting for an answer, this time placing a call to a friend of his that could deliver the blade later that evening.  
  
"Yeah, I can handle it. Well, Angel and I can handle it. Its skin is toxic so I don't think we should let anyone else, maybe Buffy, but she can't touch it at all. There is no known antidote to its venom."  
  
"Okay, then the rest of us will be your backup. Carry weapons and the like; help herd it to a spot we can fight it from."  
  
"Yeah, sounds good." Xander looked up and out the window. It was starting to get dark. "I'm going to wake Angel up, I asked Willie to deliver some blood here and it should be arriving any minute. If it comes, put it in the fridge, please."  
  
"Fine. I should call and get the pizza delivered as well. Any preference?"  
  
"Nope, just as long as it has meat on it, I'll be fine." Xander walked back into his bedroom, planning on waking Angel.  
  
Giles placed the call and leaned back into his chair, throwing his head back with his eyes closed. It seemed as though none of them could get a break. But Xander sounded like he had plenty of experience with this type of demon and hopefully he and Angel and Buffy could take it out with a minimum of fuss. And hopefully no one would get hurt.  
  
Angel and Xander had just managed to get into the kitchen for Angel to warm his blood when the doorbell rang. Giles got up to answer it, knowing that the pizza was there. When he opened the door, Buffy had just grabbed the pizza and staked the delivery boy. She grinned up at him and said, "Free pizza tonight! You might want to call the pizza place and tell them they lost their delivery boy, though." Buffy pushed her way through the door, past a stunned Giles and greeted Xander and Angel cheerfully.  
  
Giles just stood there; hand on the doorknob as Willow and Oz pushed their way through the door as well. They were weighed down with boxes that they placed out of the way.  
  
Finally Giles' shook off the dust that had landed on him and shut the door. "Xander was able to get information about the demon we are looking for."  
  
"Point the way, and your Slayer will slay!" Buffy bounced a couple times waiting for direction.  
  
"Yes, well, I think it'd be better if Xander and Angel handle it. Xander may need your help though, Buffy."  
  
Buffy began to pout, "But I'm the Slayer!"  
  
"Buffy, Xander and Angel have fought these things before. They know what they're doing."  
  
"Fine, be that way." With that, Buffy opened a pizza box and grabbed a slice and started chewing.  
  
Xander walked over and grabbed the box and after removing a few slices for himself, passed the box around. After everyone had gotten some food, he started informing the group what they were facing.  
  
Angel added some information here and there, but generally remained quiet. He was not a happy camper and hated this particular demon. Last time, Xander had almost been killed and it was be pure luck that he had escaped the claws. He had had to replace his shirt and pants because the claws had ripped huge holes in it. For some reason, Xander had managed not to catch his skin on the sharp edges. It was too close for Angel though. And he knew there was no way he could get him to not fight this time as well. He sighed.  
  
After the pizza and information session there really wasn't much else to do until Giles' friend arrived with the obsidian blades. Buffy and Angel paced around the room, frequently bumping into each other. Angel snarling at the girl; Buffy rolling her eyes at Angel's 'grr' face.  
  
Xander fidgeted on the couch, following Angel's pacing with his eyes. He and Oz kept up a quiet conversation as well, with Giles' sometimes joining in. Willow kept silent. The urge to do something was hard to control and Willow wasn't even certain what she'd do if she had the chance.  
  
An hour, then two passed with more and more looks being thrown at the door as time went on. Eventually the doorbell rang and it startled them all. At it was Giles' friend and he had brought enough blades for them all to be armed.  
  
The group quickly went into action, gathering up weapons. Within a few minutes they were ready to go and Xander lead the way out the door to the cemetery, Angel at his side and Buffy right behind them. 


	7. That's It?

Within minutes the group reached the cemetery. They hustled through the gates, only pausing long enough to gain their bearings and to find out where exactly the demon was residing. They found the nest easily, the noise of the demon and the smell drawing them towards it.  
  
Buffy grimaced at the smell, noting that Xander and Angel didn't even seem to notice the horrendous smell at all. Giles managed to keep up with Buffy, staying close by her side. He knew her habit of rushing into battle without trying to analyze the situation. He knew that she should follow Xander and Angel in this situation, but he had doubts that she would do so when confronted with the demon. He would make sure that his Slayer did not make a foolish move, with force if necessary. Willow hung back from the group. Oz was slightly ahead of her but the others were fairly far ahead of both of them.  
  
Oz finally noticed that Willow seemed hesitant to join the group. "Willow, are you okay? Can you do this?"  
  
"I, I don't know. I don't have my magic anymore. I can't fight without it! Giles has to release me; otherwise I can't help at all!" Willow's voice rose with each proceeding sentence.  
  
"Willow, there is no way Giles would release your magic. Xander didn't have any skills either, but he managed to survive on the Hellmouth. If he can do it, you can as well. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Willow. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions." Oz turned back around and started to jog after the rest, who had managed to get a fair distance ahead of them.  
  
Willow teared up. It seemed like she was ruining all her relationships. She didn't know when she had lost the ability to think beyond herself. She realized in that moment that she had totally lost sight of who she had once been when she and Xander had first met Buffy. She and Xander would never have a close relationship again. She knew that Oz was leaving her. And Buffy and Giles would probably never trust her again. She sighed. Willow shook off her introspective mood, knowing that now was not the time to be distracted. She hurried toward Oz, rushing to catch up.  
  
She caught up just as the Xander and Angel engaged the demon. Xander started the action by tossing a blade. It hit the creature square in the eye and it started its screaming. The actual battle proved to be anticlimactic and was quickly over. Xander's opening move pretty much put the creature out of action. Angel had quickly followed up with one his obsidian blades and had completely blinded the thing. It continued to scream, a loud piercing sound that was continuous. It started striking out with its claws extended trying to at least catch one of its attackers.  
  
Buffy stood still. Giles had his hand on her shoulder, preventing her from moving. However, he needn't have bothered as the girl was stunned at how well Xander, the former Zeppo, had handled his weapon. He was now moving quickly, striking randomly. His shots all hit and made considerable damage. Angel worked in counterpoint to the warrior, for that was what Xander truly was.  
  
His former awkwardness in movement was completely gone. He had a warrior's grace, sure footed and every action showing the power he had contained within. Buffy knew that she, the Slayer, would have trouble taking this man in a fight.  
  
Within five quick minutes, the demon that had caused so much fear was slain. Xander and Angel were not harmed, and in fact, had never been in real danger once they had taken the creature's sight. With one last screech, it was dispatched. When the demon hit the ground, flames consumed the flesh and a black, oily smoke rose and hung heavy in the air.  
  
Xander and Angel were quick to push the Scooby gang back from the carcass, but remained within viewing distance watching as the body was consumed. Only when it had completely melted into ash, did they allow the group to leave. Xander hung back and whispered a few words over the site, cleansing the area from all taint left behind by the organism.  
  
The walk back to the Watcher's was performed in a celebratory mood. While slightly upset that she never got a chance to fight the creature, Buffy was cheerful that she didn't ruin her outfit saving the world for once. Someone else had fought the baddie and had done the hard part. Now was the time for movies and pizza. Though Chinese might be a good change.  
  
Xander and Angel led the victorious Scoobies back to the apartment. Their steps were significantly lighter than before. Xander had half feared that once their job was done, the Oracles would send both him and Angel back to the Hell they had left. When they didn't disappear, the slight apprehension he had felt dissipated and he allowed himself to feel free for the first time since he and Angel had awoken once again on the Hellmouth.  
  
Angel was also relieved. He and his mate were not harmed by the vicious creature and they hadn't really been in much danger. It was a good night of slaying for the vampire. He did allow himself to think of what would happen now. Xander had not indicated that he wanted to stay in Sunnydale. In fact, he had gotten the impression that Xander wanted to leave as soon as possible. There was nothing here anymore for either of them. Their relationships with the Scoobies would never be the same; the closeness that had once been there had been erased by time and by substandard treatment Xander had received before he had been sucked into Hell.  
  
Xander's quick mind was coming up with options for he and Angel. For all intents and purposes, they DID work for TPTB. He didn't mind this, but Sunnydale was too small for Angel, Buffy and himself. Maybe L.A. would need a couple fighters for good?  
  
As he walked side by side with Angel, he looked back over his shoulder. Buffy was hyped up and talking about the fight with Giles, acting out certain spots. She was most likely trying to persuade Giles to teach her some of the more complicated maneuvers he had preformed. He smirked. Who would have thought, the Slayer wanted to be like Xander the Zeppo!  
  
Oz came next; Willow in the shadows following him. Her face was serious and Xander knew that she had some serious thinking ahead of her. Her future road would be the toughest out of all of them. She had a serious addiction that would never really leave her and would be an ache she'd have to learn how to live with for the rest of her life. He only hoped she was strong enough to overcome the addiction because he would not hesitate to correct her. It would hurt him; Willow was still his oldest friend. But he would do what was necessary.  
  
The werewolf caught his attention again. The expression on his face was pensive, and Xander knew that Oz would be leaving town soon. The boy really had no reason to be there and Xander remembered that Oz desired control over his shape-shifting. Talking quietly with Angel, Xander made the decision that if, no when, he and Angel left Sunnydale, the offer to travel with them would be offered to the werewolf. Xander believed he would take it, perhaps even joining Xander and Angel wherever they ended up.  
  
It was at this point that Xander reached the Watcher's home. Angel and Xander dropped off the weapons; Giles planned on keeping a few and returning the rest. The two begged off the victory party and after warning Giles to keep a close eye on Willow they left. Just before they left, they invited Oz over to the mansion the next afternoon. He agreed and they made their way to the mansion with no resistance from the normal Sunnydale nightlife. 


	8. Serious Matters

The way back to the Mansion was conducted in silence. Both Angel and Xander were relieved that their duty was done. The difficult part was over, but they still had to face the future. They had to decide where to go and what to do. Though both men realized that they no longer fit in Sunnydale.  
  
For Angel, one of the hardest parts of returning to Sunnydale was facing Buffy. He no longer was in love with the girl, but had no desire to face the girl every day. Her face showed her feelings quite clearly every time he saw her, and while he admitted that he had hurt her quite badly, he had made his apologies and more than amends during his time in Hell. He also knew that his remaining in Sunnydale while still with Xander would be a punch in the face for the young girl. He had not only broken her heart but started a relationship with one of her best friends. Buffy would not see how many years it took for him to get over her, but would only see the results and feel that a short time had passed for her. It would be best to leave town soon.  
  
He turned to look at Xander, who had a pensive look on his face. Angel knew that originally Xander had wanted to leave as well. But what now? He had spent time with his friends and Xander had missed them greatly while stuck in Hell. Would Xander want to stay and renew his relationships with the Scoobies? Angel knew that the only power that would keep him in Sunnydale would be Xander.  
  
Xander, meanwhile, was having similar thoughts to his vampire's. He had no problem working for TPTB; in Hell, he and Angel were known for doing what was right. It had caused them numerous problems, but neither man could just lose their sense of right or wrong. Being brought back to Sunnydale had shocked the former Scooby. It was the realization that it was no longer his home. While he still carried affection for the Scoobies, he no longer needed them. Time and distance had given him the knowledge that they had treated him as the inferior fighter. They had expected him to fail and he had.  
  
But years of training with Angel and other demonic creatures had created a warrior. Xander no longer was the Zeppo. He could fight with the best and keep up with even the Slayer. And he had for many, many years. He knew that Buffy would not be able to accept the fact that he, Alexander Harris, was now a better, stronger fighter than she was. Her watcher would have the same problem. Giles was convinced that Xander was the wink link and would not trust the boy with anything important. Xander could not live in that type of atmosphere.  
  
Willow was another matter all together. She had tried to control him and when that had failed, tried to kill him and Angel. While he thought that the corner had been turned that evening, he didn't want to stay and face his once closest friend. The betrayal had hurt too much. By staying in Sunnydale, the chance of running into the girl would be too great and Xander wanted away. He could only hope that Angel would feel the same.  
  
Before either had realized it, they had approached the large building that Angel had once called "home." Both deciding that they needed to get clean, they reached the bathroom at the same time, and with some half-hearted shoving, decided to conserve water and shower together.  
  
In almost ritualistic motions, they gently washed each other. First Angel, taking a soft cloth and soap, gently rubbing the grime and dirt off of his lover. While sensual, Angel's motions were more comforting than arousing, though Xander did moan at the sensations. Angel's administrations were slow, gentle, but were given with a purpose of reassuring himself that Xander was alive and well.  
  
Angel had almost panicked when one of the creature's claws had come within millimeters of cutting Xander. He could have lost him so easily.  
  
Xander reached up and started wiping the tears away from Angel's face. "Hey, no crying. We're both here and we're both fine. No one got hurt tonight."  
  
"It was close, Xander. I saw how close it came to cutting you and you know there isn't any cure if you had gotten injured by that thing!" Angel's voice broke on the last word. He couldn't lose his mate. He'd go with him, one way or another.  
  
Xander sighed. He knew what was going through Angel's head at the moment. He didn't want his lover to give up if something would happen to him and he knew it was only a matter of time. He was human. Even if he wasn't killed by one of the big bads they fought, time would do the job just as easily. He had no idea why or how he survived in Hell. He had initially lost time when they had first arrived and when he once sat down and figured out how long they had been there, was shocked at the fact that he hadn't seemed to age. He had hunted down all records he could find, but found no record of any situation like his. He could only assume that now, since they were back in the right dimension, that he would start to age again.  
  
While still physically the age he was when he left, he was harder and the weight of the things he had done and experienced, hung on him, aging him past the 18 year old he was when he left. He could only expect to start aging now that he was back and he had some fear that since he was back, he might age the years he had amassed in the other place.  
  
"Angel, I will do everything in my power not to leave you." Xander noticed that Angel had stopped his motions and took the cloth from his hand. He started washing the vampire, imitating Angel's motions on him. "I can't prevent something else from hurting me, but I won't leave on purpose. I can't just stand by and let you go fight on your own, either. You know that. It's just not in my nature." He paused and added more soap to the washcloth. "We go through this every time I have a close call. I realize that you feel the need to fight and let you do it. All I ask is that I be by your side. How do you think I would feel if I heard that you had been killed without me there?"  
  
"I, I." Angel stammered.  
  
"I would wonder for the rest of my life if I could have prevented it." Xander let his tone reflect his depth of feeling. "You know you would feel the same thing. Be glad that I'm by your side and not off on my own. I don't understand how Giles can let his Slayer go off by herself every night and not go crazy with worry that she'll come back unharmed."  
  
Xander went quiet and finished up with the washing. Angel turned off the water and they took turns drying the other off with a towel. Neither spoke until they had put on some night clothes left behind from the last time Angel had occupied the house. It was then that Xander spoke up, "Are you hungry? I got some blood and put it in the kitchen. I could use something to eat as well."  
  
Angel smiled a faint smile, "You? Hungry? Will wonders never cease?!"  
  
Xander just hit him and glared. "Hey, at least my diet isn't a liquid one."  
  
"I could arrange that if you want?" Angel snapped back, relieved that the odd contemplative mood both of them were in seemed to be finally broken.  
  
"Naw, one blood drinker in the family is enough for me." Xander smiled and took off for the kitchen. He was rummaging through the refrigerator when Angel entered the room. Xander looked up, "Hey, I put some blood in the microwave. I wasn't sure how long to nuke it for, so I left it for you."  
  
"I don't remember how long either," Angel shrugged. "I'll play it by ear." He opened the door to the microwave and saw the blood was still in the packet. "Since it's still in the packet, I'll just warm it up on the stove. That way I don't have to play with it. I can keep a closer eye on it. When we settle down somewhere with a good blood supply, I'll figure out the timing again. I don't really want to have to go back to Willies to get more tonight."  
  
Xander laughed. "No, I don't really want to see him either and I highly doubt he wants to see either of us any time soon." He quieted down and went back to thinking about their future. "Angel?"  
  
"Yes, Xander?"  
  
"Where do you want to settle down?"  
  
Angel wasn't sure how to answer this question. He really didn't want to stay in Sunnydale, but if his mate did, he would. "I don't know. Where do you want to stay?"  
  
Xander was conflicted. Should he just come out and say he wanted to move? He looked down at the sandwich he had made while talking with Angel, "I don't want to stay here. I mean here as in Sunnydale, not here as in Mansion here." He didn't look up as he wasn't sure how Angel would react.  
  
Angel let out a huff of air in relief. He was relieved that Xander would be okay with moving. "Love, where you go, I go. I don't want to stay here either. There are too many memories, none of them good, here. We can head for a big city. Get lost. Maybe help out some people. Whatever you want to do."  
  
Xander smiled in relief, "Cool. I want to go as soon as possible. I don't want to get stuck here and Sunnydale has a way of sucking you in and never letting you go. I don't want to be here any longer than possible. But." Xander hesitated.  
  
Angel's face quickly changed from showing relief to showing fear. "But what?"  
  
"But I don't think we're the only ones that are stuck here."  
  
"Huh?" Angel was honestly confused.  
  
"Oz. Willow really fucked with his head and I think we're the only ones that can help him."  
  
"How do you want to do that?"  
  
"I want to take him with us."  
  
"Take him with us? Why?"  
  
"I think he needs to get away from here as much as we do. If he stays, he'll be eaten alive. Willow needs too much from him and he already has enough to worry about. Giles has given him no help in controlling the wolf. You know that we can help him. The Hellmouth only feeds the animal and if he can get away from it, even a little ways, he can gain some control. With help and practice we can give him full power over the transformation and leave Oz in full charge of the mind during the full moon.  
  
"Willow will only continue to use him and you know she will. As it is, I'm surprised he still has some free will left." Xander paused, swallowed heavily and looked away. "If it wasn't for him dating Willow, I doubt I'd have been able to break away from her. She couldn't keep control of both of us and it weakened her enough so that I could lock her magic away. He deserves more than to be left to her will when we leave."  
  
Angel kept quiet for several minutes. He thought about the stoic boy and realized that he had drastically changed in the time they had been gone, and considering that Oz had only experience a few months, the changes were stunning. He realized that Xander was right and Oz would be a good addition to the two men wherever they went. "You're right. We owe it to the boy to help him out."  
  
He would have continued but Xander returned briefly to the carefree boy he had been before he traveled with Angel to Hell. The man threw his arms around his lover and squealed, though he'd deny that fact to his dieing breath. After a few seconds, Xander removed his arms and blushed, looked down and started to straighten his clothes, ignoring the fact that he had just acted like an eighteen year old he should have been.  
  
He decided to ignore his behavior and started to talk again, "I asked him to stop by tomorrow afternoon. I know he mentioned finishing school and getting his GED and then traveling with his band. Perhaps he'd rather come with us, especially since we can help him with his wolf."  
  
Angel just smiled and let Xander forget that he acted cute for a second. "Of course. That'll be fine, Xander." He reached out and placed his open hand on Xander's cheek. "Did you know I love you?"  
  
Xander blushed again. "Yeah. Did you know I love you?"  
  
"Yeah. Let's get some sleep, okay?"  
  
Xander just nodded. Angel noticed that his eyes became just a little brighter and his pupils seemed to expand. Xander suddenly grabbed Angel's arm and started dragging him into their bedroom. Angel knew this would be a good night. 


	9. That's The Way Things Go

The next afternoon, Angel woke suddenly. He reached out to the space next to him, but only found cold sheets and rumpled blankets. He knew that something was missing, but in his half-awake, half-asleep state, Angel couldn't figure out what was gone. He forced his eyes open and half raised his head off the pillow, looking around the room. It slowly dawned on him what he was missing. Xander was no longer in bed with him.  
  
Angel concentrated on the noises in the mansion, trying to narrow down where Xander was. He focused in on a strange voice that was oddly familiar. Concentrating, Angel realized that the voice was Oz. Angel finally remembered Xander inviting the boy over to talk the night before and was glad that they could help him out. He knew Oz would be hurting over Willow's actions and knew Xander would be the right person to make sure that he recovered with minimal scarring.  
  
Angel threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, wobbling slightly on unsteady feet. He made his way to the bathroom where the shower called his name. He spent quite a bit of time in there, enjoying the warm water that had been lacking in the other realm. It had been hard to get clean there, and even rarer was warm water. He'd always appreciate modern technology that allowed him this luxury.  
  
Finally tiring of the shower, Angel dried off and dressed in clothing. He wrinkled his nose at them; Angelus had really enjoyed the dark colors. After living with nothing but dark colors for hundreds of years, he really was going to enjoy shopping for some pastels.  
  
After dressing, he wandered into the kitchen and found some blood which he heated up and drank. Preparing another cup, he decided to join the two in the study, one of the only rooms in the mansion that was livable. Making noise in the doorway, Angel entered the room. Xander looked over at him and his face lit up. "Good afternoon! I thought you were going to sleep until sunset."  
  
"I would have, but someone left."  
  
Xander laughed, "You know Oz was coming over."  
  
"I know, but I still missed you."  
  
Oz watched the two bantering back and forth. Maybe Xander was serious in his offer. Oz doubted that they would have let anyone else see this side of them. He saw two people not only in love, but who were also friends. They were comfortable in each other's presence and there was no dominant personality. They were equals. Something that he and Willow would never be and it was time to face that reality.  
  
"Xander," Oz started and then stopped. He looked around and wouldn't make eye contact with either Angel or Xander.  
  
"Yes?" Xander didn't push, knowing that Oz had made his decision and that it had to be all on his own terms or not at all.  
  
"I'll come with. My test is Saturday and I can be ready to leave by sunset. The Dingoes will be traveling around a bit, but mostly in L.A. I was planning on going with them, but I really need help with my wolf." With that, Oz went quiet and seemed to shrink into himself a bit more than he already was.  
  
Xander gave into temptation and hugged the hurting young man. "That'll be fine. Do you want us to pick you up at the house?"  
  
Oz nodded and the two sat there for several minutes in silence, with Angel looking on. Finally Oz got up and almost shook himself. "I'm gonna go. I have a lot to finish up before Saturday."  
  
Xander nodded and walked him to the door. "Remember, if you need to get away before then, you're always welcomed here. You don't need to even knock. Just come in and make yourself at home. Okay?"  
  
Oz nodded and gave a small half smile. "Yeah, I know." He turned around and closed the door firmly behind him.  
  
Xander jumped as cool arms wrapped around his waist. "Angel!"  
  
"Yes?" Xander could feel the smile on his face.  
  
"You know what." He grinned himself.  
  
Angel just laughed. "I think Oz will be okay."  
  
"Yeah, I think so too. I just hope he can make it to Saturday. Willow will corner him, I'm sure, and I don't know if he can handle that."  
  
"Well, we could always make sure she doesn't."  
  
Xander looked thoughtful. "You know, that might not be a bad idea. I'm going to go call Giles and see if he'll help out."  
  
Xander pulled away from Angel, turning around to give him a quick kiss, then walked to the phone that was near the doorway. He called the Watcher up and arranged for Giles and Buffy to make sure that Willow stayed away from Oz. Giles had wondered if the boy would be able to pull himself away from the girl and the Hellmouth and felt better knowing that Xander and Angel had taken him in.  
  
Giles knew Buffy wouldn't be much help, so instead asked the girls to fetch an artifact from a friend of his in San Francisco. He bought them tickets and sent them on their way. He called Xander back up and let him know that they were out of the city and that Willow really seemed to be taking stock of her life. She had left him a plate of cookies to try to make up for what she had done.  
  
Xander thanked him but knew that Willow wasn't done yet. She knew that Oz was planning on leaving and he doubted that she'd let him go without a fight, even if she had been sent away.  
  
The time went by quickly until it was Saturday. Xander decided that he'd go with Oz to the testing site and was glad he did. As he dropped Oz off at the door, he noticed Willow standing outside the school, watching the doorway. He pulled around back before the former witch noticed them and told Oz to stay inside and not worry about anything except for the test. Oz just nodded and quickly slipped inside, confident that Xander could handle the girl.  
  
Xander parked the car, and then walked behind Willow. Tapping her on the shoulder, he started to speak. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Startled, Willow whipped around and made a squeaking sound. "Xander! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I asked you first. You know this is an important test for Oz and you're only distracting him by being here. In fact, what are you doing in town? Giles told me that he sent you and Buffy after something he needed."  
  
Willow blushed and stammered, "I, I..I let Buffy go alone. I knew she could handle it and I needed to talk to Oz, but I couldn't find him until today."  
  
"Willow, Oz does not want to talk to you. He mentioned that he told you he was going to get the GED and then tour with his band. You hurt him and before you two have any chance, you really have to change; to get better. You are not the same girl he fell in love with. You have to work to overcome the addiction. I've bound you from your magic, but the need, the craving is still there isn't it?"  
  
Willow looked away, her face anguished. "Yes," she whispered, "yes, it's still there. But it'll get better if I just do a little bit, if I have just a little bit of skill left. Please, Xander? Help me?"  
  
"No. You can never do magic again if you want to recover. Giles can and will help you. He's gone through the same thing. You need to change your attitude and your desires so that they don't revolve around magic. You can't see how much different you are than even from when I disappeared. Willow, you're scaring me with how much has changed. Now you need to change back or change to something different because this isn't right. This isn't you." Xander tried to reach the girl in some way. He really didn't want to lose his friend for good.  
  
"I've changed!" she cried. Willow's hand reached toward Xander, but he shrugged it off. "You're punishing me and now I'm not only losing you but you're taking Oz with you! You've made everyone turn against me. How could you do this to me?!" By this time, the girl was shrieking at her oldest friend.  
  
Xander knew that he had lost Willow. Maybe someday Giles would be able to call and let him know that Willow had recovered, but it would be a long time coming. Xander just stood there. He knew that no matter how much Willow changed, he'd never see his old friend again. He might find a different Willow, but the innocent, sweet girl he had made friends with as a child was forever gone. He blinked away tears that had rapidly appeared with this realization. For him, there was nothing else to say. He turned around and started walking away. Oz would be protected inside the school building; he had enough power to make sure of that.  
  
Willow couldn't accept that Xander had given up on her; had basically thrown her away. "Where are you going? I'm not done talking with you! I can't believe you'd do this to me!" Willow threw out after him, disbelieving that her Xander would actually walk away from her.  
  
"Well," Xander replied, looking over his shoulder as he walked away from a stunned Willow, "Sometimes, that's just the way things go." 


End file.
